OCTOBER
and the way of most resistance
I get a lot of messages asking if I ever consider doing a workshop or putting together a tutorial. The short answer is no. Unfortunately, the long answer is also no, and not because last person I tried to teach said that there are easier ways to make money.
The laughable thing about me is that in my whole career as a creative I didn’t find any shortcuts or simpler ways to get things done the way I see them in my mind. I did, however, found detours, scenic roads to take, long ways home. Years on things don’t take less time, they take longer. Much, much longer. To what is already a multistep process I keep adding multiple steps like if I’m going to live forever. Which I’m gonna have to, to finish everything on my list. I don’t know how to put it all into comprehensive tutorial without having people rolling their eyes, but I learned not to care about my winding ways. I’m armed with madness for a very long voyage.
I “sit” on ideas for a long time, figuring out if they’re viable. I have a fancy sketchbook I rarely use. Most of sketches done on brown butcher paper that covers my work table. I hope no psychiatrist ever sees it with all the eyeballs floating across the stained surface and writings like “this is where rain is buried”. Sure hope my mom never sees it, she has enough to worry about.
“The idea is the whole thing. If you stay true to the idea, it tells you everything you need to know, really. You just keep working to make it look like that idea looked, feel like it felt, sound like it sounded, and be the way it was. And it’s weird, because when you veer off, you sort of know it. You know when you doing something that is not correct because it feels incorrect. It says “No, no; this isn’t like the idea said it was.” And when you're getting into it the correct way, it feels correct. It's an intuition: you feel-think your way through. You start one place, and as you go, it gets more and more finely tuned. But all along its the idea talking. at some point, it feels correct to you. And you hope that it feels somewhat correct to others”
David Lynch
In other news we had hard freeze and flowers are gone till next year. Bittersweet, as by this time I’m tired of watering and weeding, but not having flowers on every horizontal surface feels strange, like a family member missing. Tulip bulbs were delivered in terrifyingly huge box, I tend to overestimate my desire to plant them. By this time in season I just want to dig a big hole and dump them all in. All the sudden winter doesn’t feel like such a bad thing…I could use a break.
